"I don't feel like myself anymore."
It's one of the most common things I hear from the women I coach, and it's rarely said lightly.
If you've been feeling this way, I want to say clearly: yes, it's normal, and no, you're not imagining it.
What women actually describe
The symptoms of perimenopause go well beyond hot flushes. Brain fog. Mood swings. Feeling flatter, or more easily frustrated than usual. Sleep that no longer holds together the way it used to. Clothes that don't fit the way they did a year ago.
These kinds of changes can have such a huge impact, especially when a lot of what does exist about menopause simply isn't that widely known. From my own research, some of the best information is genuinely hard to find unless you go looking for it, in books and research from specific experts like Lara Briden ND and Dr Jerilynn Prior, the endocrinologist who founded the Centre for Menstrual Cycle and Ovulation Research (CeMCOR).
The bit that gets missed: being believed
There's a layer under "I don't feel like myself" that doesn't get talked about enough, and it's this: needing to know you're not imagining it, or exaggerating it.
I talked about this on a podcast with Dr Louise Fitzgerald. So many women's experience, when they finally go to their GP, is being dismissed, simply because that doctor hasn't had much training in perimenopause or menopause. It's something I think of as medical gaslighting, and it has a real impact when your needs aren't being taken seriously, or you're not being listened to.
That's exactly why this starting point matters so much. Before you can do anything about how you're feeling, you need to know that how you're feeling is real, and that it makes sense.
What actually helps
You don't need to just wait this out, and you don't need a complete overhaul of your life to start feeling more like yourself.
Sleep, stress, movement and nutrition all genuinely affect how perimenopause shows up for you day to day, and small, consistent changes in those areas can make a real difference over time.
It's not about being perfect. It's about understanding what's actually going on in your body, so you can work with it instead of feeling like you're fighting yourself.
If you've been feeling like this, you're not alone, and there is a way through it that doesn't involve extreme diets or pushing yourself harder.
I like to focus on optimising the five most important holistic areas: sleep, food, movement, self-care and managing stress.
If you'd like to talk it through, I offer a free consultation where we can look at what's going on for you specifically: book a free call.