"I keep starting and stopping."
It's one of the things I hear most often from women over 40.
They've tried Slimming World, WeightWatchers, calorie counting, a new gym programme.
Some of it worked for a while.
Then life got busy, the weight came back, and they felt like they were back at square one.
If that sounds familiar, the first thing I want you to know is this: it's not a willpower problem.
Why it feels harder after 40
A lot changes during perimenopause and menopause, and much of it affects your weight indirectly.
Your sleep gets more broken, sometimes down to four or five hours a night.
Poor sleep makes hunger and cravings harder to manage the next day, especially that 4pm to 6pm slump.
Work stress and a busy home life often turn into stress eating in the evening.
Then comes the guilt, the "I've ruined it now, so what difference does it make?" feeling, and the rest of the day goes out the window.
On top of that, muscle naturally declines with age, and it can decline faster through this transition.
So the same approach that worked in your 20s or 30s often stops working, and it's easy to assume the problem is you.
It isn't.
Why the usual approach backfires
Unfortunately, many women still believe the answer is to eat less and do more cardio.
In my experience, that tends to lead to the same pattern again and again.
You lose weight on a strict plan.
A year or two later, it's all back, often with an extra stone or two on top.
Weekly weigh-ins can make it worse.
Clients have told me that when they were off track for a few days, the dread of the next weigh-in pushed them into starving themselves just to hit a number.
That's the structure of the programme at work, and it has very little to do with willpower.
What actually works
Rather than relying on quick fixes, extreme diets or pushing yourself through more exhausting workouts, these are the things I focus on with every woman I coach:
- Strength training, 2-3 times a week for 30 minutes. This is the big one. Building and keeping muscle helps you get leaner, stronger and more toned, and it's what helps the results last.
- Protein at every meal. It keeps you fuller for longer and supports the muscle you're building.
- Daily walking. Simple, free and easy to fit around a busy week.
- Sleep. Four or five good nights a week makes a real difference to your energy and cravings.
- Stress and mindset. Breaking the all-or-nothing cycle matters just as much as anything you eat.
- Eating the foods you love. No cutting out carbs, no rigid meal plans, and no stepping on the scales every week.
No extreme diets. No endless cardio. Just a practical, sustainable approach that works with your life.
What realistic progress looks like
Most of the women I work with drop around one clothes size in two to three months, and around two clothes sizes in six months.
Clare, one of my clients, is 55 with four kids.
She dropped a clothes size in her first four weeks and lost 25cm across her body measurements.
Every woman is different, and progress is never a straight line.
But when you understand your body, everything becomes simpler.
Where to start
You don't need to do everything perfectly.
A few consistent changes can make a huge difference over time.
If you'd like some help figuring out what that looks like for you, take my 60-second goals quiz and book a free 15-minute call: https://reset.coachelan.com/